Do Outgoing Introverts Exist?

In any personality quiz, I have taken, it always asks if I’m an introvert or an extrovert. This is always tough to answer. I like being social and hanging out with my friends. However, I need to recharge. If I’m too social or have too many jam- packed social weekends, I find myself mentally exhausted. Both introvert and extrovert doesn’t seem to fit my personality. After reading Donovan’s blog post “It’s Time to Get Rid of Introverted and Extroverted” I wanted to talk about my experience with labeling myself as either an introvert or an extrovert.

High School Mariah wearing a Band t-shirt. circa 2011

In high school, I was shy. I was insecure about every single part of myself. I wasn’t sure who I was and I didn’t feel confident in how I looked. I still needed a social recharge now and then. I would often stay home on Fridays and watch movies with my mom because I needed a break from socializing at school. When I reminisce about this part of my life, I would have labeled myself as a shy introvert. I always thought that someone’s personality can’t change throughout their life, but this isn’t something I still believe in.

Freshman year of college – Fall 2012

Once I graduated from high school, I went to college. Going off to college is where I was able to shine. I was able to fully explore hobbies, meet new friends, and confront some of my insecurities. I dated someone who wasn’t right for me, and after realizing this, I ended things with that person. It was empowering for me to take control of my life and recognizing what I fully wanted from a partner. I started meeting friends with similar interests to me and this led me to become more social in college. While in high school I labeled myself as a shy introvert, now I would rank myself as an outgoing introvert.

Some find the use of labels comforting, but I’m the opposite. Trying to fit introvert, extrovert, shy, outgoing, etc. into my personality feels a bit overwhelming. I’m a unique person where I feel opposite terms apply to me. I wish we would get rid of introvert and extrovert because I think they aren’t full-encompassing personality terms. I feel very similar to Donovan and how they describe these terms. I would highly recommend reading their post that I have linked above because it resonated with me enough to write my post.

Do you think introvert or extrovert are labels you use? or do you think that these are wholly unnecessary?

6 thoughts on “Do Outgoing Introverts Exist?

  1. I call myself an extroverted introvert and I’ve seen other people use that term as well. I can be extremely shy and like to be alone quite often, however, put me in the right company and I’m pretty outgoing. Like yourself, I’ve had that experience where I can explore areas of my life, meet new friends and confront difficult parts of my life.

    We’re all unique people and use whatever labels, or none at all make you feel comfortable. I only really use the extroverted introvert label when someone brings up this topic or specifically asks. It’s not something I personally use.

    In the past, I used to refer to myself using personality test score results (like the Myers–Briggs Type Indicator or The Enneagram Personality Test) but I realised that a former friend was using one of them (The Enneagram Personality Test) to put me into a box. I was their “special number 4”, they basically used that to stereotype me and as a result, could not see me for the person I had become. So I urge caution on doing anything like that based on someone else’s suggestion. Whatever you do, let it be through your own exploration.

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    • I have also heard people use the label extroverted introvert as well. I do feel like that fits me more than one term over the other.

      I have heard of the Myers test, but not the other one you mentioned.

      Thanks for the response!

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  2. Ahhh I’m glad my post inspired you to write this! And I’m glad you’re also not into those labels! You’re totally right that your ‘label’/identity changes as you age, though. I think I actually got more quieter and reserved in high school and uni as I no longer was surrounded by people I’ve known my whole life like I was in elementary school, but I certainly grew into myself and got more comfortable with who I am.

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