Barnes & Noble has really stepped up their game when it comes to their graphic novel and manga sections. When I was debating what I wanted to read in February, I found myself browsing the shelves at Barnes & Noble looking for ideas for books to rent from the library. It was a happy surprise to see that Barnes & Noble had a display of romance comics, graphic novels, and manga for readers to enjoy. I ended up selecting Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon Volume #1 by Shio Usui and If You’ll Have Me by Eunnie to purchase. I loved both of these so much and I feel inspired to start trying to find more romance in graphic novels and manga to read for the future.
Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon by Shio Usui
Uno Hinako is trying to figure herself out. She works a corporate office job, she tries to be feminine with the hope of dating and falling in love, and she doubts herself often. Uno has always felt off. She tries to date men but finds that she doesn’t fall in love with them. She starts to think that something is wrong with her. Uno bumps into one of the new employees at her office, Asahi Sato. Uno starts to look forward to seeing Asahi more often especially because Asahi brings her doughnuts from a cute doughnut shop. Eventually, Uno and Asahi’s friendship grows as Uno realizes that maybe there’s nothing wrong with her after all.
This was so stinking cute. I thought Uno and Asahi hit it off right away and I liked how this doesn’t go straight into a romance. Instead, it shows Uno and Asahi getting to know each other and becoming friends. I loved Asahi’s sister, Subaru, as she quickly picks up on Asahi’s growing crush on Uno. I am glad I discovered this series and I can’t wait to read more about Uno and Asahi’s story. I rated Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon four stars on Goodreads.
If You’ll Have Me by Eunnie
Momo Gardner is a selfless person. Her friends know that they can rely on her whenever she needs something. Momo is introverted, geeky, and enjoys being by herself. Momo meets PG who is the exact opposite. PG is social and has a reputation for being a player. Momo and PG meet up and start dating. Momo and PG’s relationship is tested due to Momo’s insecurities in knowing about PG’s past. Will these two make it through?
Momo and PG were so cute together. They are different people which I think makes them better together. PG brings Momo out of her shell while PG listens to Momo when she wants to stay in versus go out. I liked their breakup because I thought it was a way for them to realize that they weren’t listening to each other. I liked how this played out and how they ended up being stronger for it. The art in this was gorgeous! Once I finished reading If You’ll Have Me, I found myself paging through the novel to look at the art. I’m going to be on the lookout for Eunnie as I hope that they will continue making comics in the future. I rated If You’ll Have Me five stars on Goodreads.
I can’t wait to read more romance graphic novels and manga. There is probably so much out there that I don’t even know exists yet.
I’m a part of a local Dungeons & Dragons Facebook group that’s based in Minnesota. I joined the group several years ago as a way to play and discuss TTRPGs. I saw a post shared in the group a few days ago highlighting an event that Badwolf Adventure Studios was hosting. For $30, Badwolf was going to lead a one-shot at White Bear Meadery, a local mead hall in the Twin Cities. Someone commented in the post that anyone who pays for Dungeons & Dragons is “desperate”. Normally when I read a comment like this, I ignore it. However, I felt a little sassy and decided to respond. In my response, I commented on the reasons why I chose to pay for sessions and why this worked for me. I did add in my response that it seemed rude to call those who do pay “desperate”. He responded back to me and said that I was being “exploited” and “manipulated”. I realized that I wasn’t going to have a respectful conversation with this person, so I chose to ignore him and not engage further.
The post ended up getting more popular than I thought it would. A few hours later, I saw numerous comments from people defending me and saying that the way he communicated his opinion wasn’t appropriate. The admins were quickly made aware of the situation and have since deleted the comments (including mine) which I think was the right thing to do. This interaction solidified why I wanted to write this. I wanted to talk about my experience with pay-to-play in the TTRPG space and why I think this has worked for me.
There are a few things that I want to say before I get into this. The first is that I am not here to convince anyone to pay for their sessions. I’m simply talking about my experience in this area. As a side note, I am not being sponsored by Badwolf and all of my opinions are my own. The last thing that I wanted to say was that I don’t believe that TTRPGs should be hidden behind a paywall. I would hate to see a hobby that I love be attached to additional costs.
I wanted to briefly share how I started playing TTRPGs and how that led me to the pay-to-play format. I started roleplaying in 2017 when I joined a one-shot at a local game store where a group was running Call of Cthulhu. I had so much fun! I knew right away that I wanted to find more opportunities to play as I loved the creativity of coming up with a character and seeing my character explore the world that the game is built around. After listening to NADDPOD (Not Another DnD Podcast) Critical Role and discovering Vampire: The Masquerade at Gen Con in 2019, I was enamored by TTRPGs.
The pandemic threw a wrench in playing TTRPGs in person. After getting my Covid vaccine, I was ready to try again to find a long-term group. Most players can find a group by getting a group of friends together to play. Most of my friends don’t play TTRPGs, so for me, that wasn’t going to work. Throughout 2021, I attended several meetups at game stores to find something that would stick. Most of these groups dissipated after the first session due to a lack of interest and schedules not aligning. I felt disappointed at not being able to find a group, yet determined to keep going. I can’t exactly remember how I discovered Badwolf, but the rest is history.
This leads me to why I feel that pay-to-play” is worth it. Each session that I play in is high quality. The DM has crafted a world that I feel fortunate enough to play. There’s a whole political system, map, and factions that make the experience immersive. The DMs that I have played with at Badwolf are experienced and are great at keeping track of all of our characters, abilities, and all the NPCs which is a lot to juggle. I tend to ask a lot of questions as I am still exploring what Vesper, my Variant Human Sorcerer, is capable of. I have never felt ashamed to ask questions and I feel that with each session I play in, I’m becoming more experienced with 5e. When I play in paid sessions, I get an incredible TTRPG experience that I don’t think I would find organically.
Another reason that I choose pay-to-play is the commitment from the players since there is a cost associated. With each player choosing to pay money per session, everyone shows up. If for whatever reason players aren’t able to attend, Badwolf has run one shots for our group for those who can play. One shots are great because it’s a break from our main campaign and it gives me a chance to try out a new class I haven’t played yet. I find this concept to be similar to how I treat my gym membership. I’m more inclined to work out each week because I’m paying to be there. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually look forward to Mondays now.
There’s one more critique I saw on a separate post regarding pay-to-play that I wanted to address. One person commented and stated that those who pay-to-play are “buying their friends”. That couldn’t be further from the truth. In the first Badwolf campaign that I was in, our group didn’t socialize much outside of our session. In the Monday session, I’m in now, our group is active on Discord; sharing memes, reviewing the session, and talking about our lives. It’s a completely different dynamic from the previous campaign that I was in. No one is forcing anyone to talk to each other, it’s simply an added bonus of pay-to-play since we are all having a great experience together.
In my specific situation, pay-to-play works great for me. It’s a guarantee that I will play each week and I like that it gives me something fun to look forward to on Mondays. If the concept of pay-to-play is absurd to you, that’s fine! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and it’s okay to voice that opinion and offer criticism. With that said, once that opinion turns into name-calling, that’s where I draw the line. I am excited for what’s to come in our campaign and for those who are looking for a group, I wish you luck and I hope you find your group!
No Hard Feelings generated a lot of buzz when it was released. It was Jennifer Lawrence’s first take in a raunchy comedy and there was significant conversation surrounding the age difference between Jennifer Lawrence and Andrew Barth Feldman. I wasn’t able to see No Hard Feelings in theaters, but as soon as I saw it was available to watch on Netflix, I set aside time to watch it. No Hard Feelings was funny, but I don’t think I would go out of my way to watch it again.
No Hard Feelings focuses on Maddie Barker (played by Jennifer Lawrence) as she works as an Uber driver in Montauk, New York. She’s struggling to pay her mortgage for the beach house that her mom left her when she passed away. Maddie’s car is repossessed by her ex-fling Gary (played by Ebon Moss-Bachrach). Maddie has to figure out a plan B since she can’t be an Uber driver without a car. Maddie meets Percy’s parents (played by Matthew Broderick and Laura Benanti) through a Craigslist ad as they are looking for a woman to date Percy (played by Andrew Barth Feldman) and bring him outside of his shell before he goes off to college. In exchange, they will gift Maddie a car. Maddie gets to work at seducing Percy but finds that she starts to care about Percy. Percy challenges Maddie and Maddie reveals things to Percy that she kept buried. Percy eventually finds out about the deal and is hurt that Maddie would use him for her own gain. This forces Maddie to challenge some of the things that Percy has brought to light about herself.
I think the first thing that’s worth mentioning is that Jennifer Lawrence knocked this out of the park. It’s surprising to me that she hasn’t done much comedy before this. I thought this was raunchy and Jennifer seemed in her element. I would love to see Jennifer Lawrence in more comedies in the future. I think the chemistry between Jennifer and Andrew was also charming. By the end of the movie, it’s clear that they have developed a friendship even though they are at different points in their lives. I don’t know if I buy the fact that they will be friends forever, but they both had a significant impact on each other.
This brings me to the conversations that were had when No Hard Feelings was released. There is an age difference between Jennifer Lawrence and Andrew Barth Feldman. Jennifer was in her 30s when this movie was filmed while Andrew was 20. I think the reason this was talked about so much was that Andrew looks younger than his actual age while Jennifer is clearly an adult. To be clear, I do not condone or support underage relationships because that is a crime. It’s why the movie Licorice Pizza gives me the ick. Licorice Pizza, for those who aren’t aware, is a movie that centers around the budding relationship between a 15-year-old boy and a 25-year-old woman. Notice how I say boy because a 15-year-old boy is a child versus a 25-year-old woman who is an adult. I do not care how well-acted Licorice Pizza is, it grosses me out. It’s not okay to romanticize this type of relationship and I don’t care about the genders that are involved. Anyone underage (regardless of gender) should not be in a romantic relationship with someone who is over the age of 18. I will say, that I didn’t get the same vibes with No Hard Feelings as I did with Licorice Pizza.
The other interesting thing about No Hard Feelings and the age gap is how this is flipped. It’s extremely common for male actors to be significantly older than female actors. The first movie that I thought of that fits this is For Your Eyes Only which was a Roger Moore Bond film. Roger Moore was 53 while Carole Bouquet (who played Bond’s love interest) was 24. That’s a 29-year age difference which is way more than the age difference in No Hard Feelings. Now granted, Carole Bouquet was in her mid-20s which I think feels a little farther away than 18, however, it’s still a large age gap. I think if we are going to have conversations about age gaps in movies, we absolutely should. These conversations should be created equal and if we are going to be upset about an older actress and a younger actor, we should also feel the same if it’s an older actor and a younger actress.
No Hard Feelings was funny and I’m glad I took the time to watch it. I don’t think the age difference ruined the movie by any means, but I think you could easily tell that Jennifer does look older than Andrew. It wasn’t my favorite romantic comedy, but it was entertaining nonetheless.
Being raised in Minnesota sports is often a disappointing experience. The last time the Minnesota Twins won The World Series was 1991. The Minnesota Vikings have never won the Super Bowl. If that wasn’t enough, both the Minnesota Wild and The Minnesota Timberwolves have never won championships. One team that was doing well was the Milwaukee Bucks which is Wisconsin’s Basketball team. The Bucks play at Fiserv Forum which is in downtown Milwaukee. A few weeks ago, we went to a Bucks game with my husband’s family and oddly enough, we went to the game where the Bucks played the Minnesota Timberwolves. Spoiler alert, Minnesota crushed Wisconsin.
Let’s be honest, Fiserv Forum is a much nicer stadium than Target Center (Target Center being where The Minnesota Timberwolves play). Outside of Fiserv, huge letters are spelling out Bucks which serves as the perfect background for a photo. Near the stadium, there are several bars and breweries to have a drink at. I thought the whole atmosphere of Fiserv was fun. The best part about watching sports live is to feel a part of the fan community. Sporting events are basically comic book conventions but centered around sports.
I made the earlier comment about Minnesota sports being disappointing. The Minnesota Timberwolves are doing great this season. I don’t follow Basketball, so I didn’t realize our team was doing so well. It ended up being a twenty-point game with Minnesota taking home the win. My father-in-law wasn’t too pleased, but I was happy.
I would definitely go to another Bucks game again. Fiserv Forum is a great stadium and the energy that fans bring is electric.
As I have gotten older, I have been more picky as to the books that I have on my bookshelves. I want to own books that I adore and I could easily re-read at any given moment. One series that will always be given a spot is the Well Met series by Jen DeLuca. The Well Met series is a series of romance books that feature a romance at a Renaissance Faire. Each book is centered around one of the characters and how they meet their partner. This book focuses on Emily’s older sister April, and Mitch, one of the fighters in the Chess Match. It’s no surprise that Well Matched was amazing and solidified why I enjoy this series.
April Parker is a single mom living in Willow Creek and preparing for her daughter, Caitlin, to go off to college. April has been prepping for this moment as she’s been preparing to sell her house and move to the city. April could use some help getting her home ready to sell. It’s a no-brainer that when Mitch Malone gives her a proposition to “fake date” at his family gathering in exchange for helping with house projects, April takes him up on it. While April is adamant that she and Mitch are not dating, Mitch starts to fall for her. April has to grapple with her feelings for Mitch and how she can finally be ready to put herself first.
Starting off with the characters, I enjoyed reading from April’s point of view. I think it’s easy to write April off as being a cold-hearted person, but I think her character is more nuanced than that. April has a lot of trauma that I don’t think she has unpacked. She gave birth to Caitlin alone, her husband left her as he didn’t want to be a father, and she moved to a small town where April heard whispers about her being a single mom. I couldn’t imagine going through what April did and not feeling a bit hardened by the experience. April is snarky and gets defensive toward the people she cares about which I think directly relates to her back story. With all of that being said, I liked April as a character and I was rooting for her to get her happy ending.
Speaking of April’s happy ending, let’s talk about Mitch. Mitch is the “Golden Retriever” boyfriend in a kilt. Mitch often is judged over his looks and not taken seriously. I appreciated the fact that Mitch calls April out towards the end of the book. Mitch falls for her and April isn’t ready to go public with their relationship. I see this trope a lot where it’s the female character calling out the male character for this, so I thought it was neat to see this reversed. Mitch is the best and serves as a good foil to April.
Well Matched is no different than the other books in the series since it features The Willow Creek Renaissance Faire in the background. There’s a moment where April gets a She’s All That makeover with her own Renaissance outfit which I thought helped bring April out of her shell. In between April and Mitch’s love story, it’s fun to see the other characters who were featured in the previous books.
As a complete side note, I like how this series normalizes not having kids. Simon and Emily adopt a dog, but it’s hinted that they are happy without kids. Stacey and Daniel travel a lot, so it’s not clear if they will start a family. April is in her 40s and she clearly states to Mitch that she isn’t going to have any more kids. I think it’s a nice touch to show happy and healthy couples choosing to not have kids.
Well Matched is everything that I could want in a romance book. I will always recommend this series. If I had to perfectly describe the Well Met series, I would say that this is if Gilmore Girls was set at a Renaissance Faire. I rated Well Matched five stars on Goodreads.
I have a lot of happy memories attached to Doctor Who. I started watching Doctor Who in college and it’s one of the first shows that me and my now husband watched together as a couple. Doctor Who was a show I would watch with my roommate at the time and we were fascinated by the adventures that The Doctor would have. I stopped watching Doctor Who sometime in Capaldi’s series and I haven’t had a chance to return to the show. I wanted to do a full rewatch, but that’s a huge commitment. When I heard that Disney+ would be carrying all the new episodes of Doctor Who going forward, I was ecstatic. I know there may be some mixed opinions about Disney+ right now, however, I feel that with Disney+ airing new episodes of Doctor Who, it might allow new fans to join the fandom. As part of this joint venture, the holiday special is live on Disney+, debuting Ncuti Gatwa as The Doctor. I was impressed with Ncuti’s portrayal of The Doctor and I have high hopes for the new series.
The Church on Ruby Road opens with Ruby Sunday (played by Millie Gibson) being interviewed by television host, Davina McCall (played by Davina McCall herself). Ruby is partnering with Davina to help find her birth parents as Ruby was dropped off at a church as a baby. After the interview, Ruby experiences a bout of bad luck. Ruby’s foster mother, Carla, brings home a new baby, Lulubelle whom Ruby agrees to watch while Carla runs errands. While Lulubelle is under Ruby’s care, Lulubelle is kidnapped by goblins. Ruby rushes to help and meets The Doctor (played by Ncuti Gatwa) who also is chasing after the goblins. Ruby and The Doctor agree to work together to save Lulubelle and stop the goblins.
As far as companions go, I like Ruby. Ruby reminds me a lot of Rose (played by Billie Piper) who was a companion during both Christopher Eccleston and David Tennant’s series. She’s caring, curious, and willing to dive into any sort of adventure. I think Ruby and The Doctor have good chemistry together as friends. I personally prefer the companions who serve as The Doctor’s equal to the companions who fall in love with The Doctor. Speaking of The Doctor, I like Ncuti’s portrayal of the character. He seems spunky, yet calculated as he plans out how to escape from the goblins. This is kind of a small thing to bring up, but I noticed that in the poster for Doctor Who: The Church on Ruby Road The Doctor’s nails are painted. I think that’s a nice touch. The Doctor is someone who is unique and stands out, so it’s nice to see The Doctor bend gender norms.
One thing that Doctor Who is known for is being heartfelt. This holiday special was no different. There’s a moment where The Doctor has to travel back in time to when Ruby was dropped off at the church. The Doctor is seen holding Ruby as a baby and whispering to her “Happy Birthday” as he sets her down in front of the church. Don’t mind me crying at a Doctor Who special. I think it’s a nice hint of foreshadowing because it sounds like the series will expand on Ruby’s back story and I’m interested to see where that goes.
Doctor Who: The Church on Ruby Road is available to stream on Disney+. While some fans might not like the fact that Doctor Who is on Disney+, I think it’s a great idea. Since Doctor Who is more available to me, I might end up watching this series and get back into keeping up to date on new episodes.
With February in full swing, I am devoting the entire month to reading all romance including graphic novels and manga. Romance is one of my favorite genres to read and I think it helps to keep my spirits high for February. Before delving into my romance TBR, I am going to share a quick recap of last month to see if I was able to read everything that I had set out to. From there, I’ll go into more detail about the romance books that I picked out.
In January, I set out to read three books: The Last Housewife by Ashley Winstead, The Vanishing by Wendy Webb, and Stillhouse Lake by Rachel Caine. I wrote two reviews; one for The Last Housewife and Stillhouse Lake. The Vanishing was the last book I read in January and I rated this book one star. I rarely ever give out one-star ratings, but The Vanishing was not it. I think the book was trying too hard to be like Shutter Island with a psychological twist towards the end. The twist felt completely out of left field and seemed improbable. I think the twist ruined the book for me. I don’t enjoy hating on books, so I have no plans on writing a review of The Vanishing. If you’re curious, I did write a full Goodreads review where I give out spoilers as to why I didn’t like the book. While I didn’t like The Vanishing, I’m still glad that I set out to read everything that I wanted to for the month. Now I will break down all the romance books that I want to read this month.
Well Matched by Jen DeLuca
April Parker is a single mom living in Willow Creek who is ready to leave the town and begin a new journey for herself. She asks Mitch Malone for assistance in helping her with renovating her house, so it’s ready to sell. In exchange for helping her, Mitch asks April if she can pretend to be his girlfriend in front of his family, so he doesn’t get the same lectures. While Mitch and April are fake dating, April volunteers at the Renaissance Faire at Willow Creek for the first time. As Mitch and April keep up their facade, they both start to realize that maybe this is becoming a bit too real.
Well Matched is the third book in the Willow Creek Renaissance Faire series. I love this series, it’s probably one of the best romance series that I have read. I like how the Renaissance Faire is the background of all the books. With this series taking place in a small town, it’s easy to connect with the characters and want them to all have their happy ever after.
Wildfire by Hannah Grace
Aurora Roberts and Russ Callaghan have a one-night stand. Aurora quietly leaves before Russ can properly ask Aurora on a date. Aurora and Russ awkwardly run into each other as they both are working as camp counselors for the summer. Aurora and Russ will begin to rekindle what sparks they had a few days ago.
I find a lot of book recommendations on Instagram and Hannah Grace’s book, Icebreaker, has been making the rounds on social media. I spotted Wildfire at a local bookstore, so I figured it would be worthwhile to give the book a chance. Also, I think the cover is pretty. I like the art style along with the peach-colored background.
Part of Your World by Abby Jimenez
Alexis Montgomery is an ER doctor who is facing pressure from her parents to become a surgeon. Alexis meets Daniel Grant, a hot carpenter, who is ten years younger than Alexis. Alexis and Daniel’s chemistry is apparent. As Alexis spends more time with Daniel, she starts to re-evaluate her own life and what is truly important to her.
Abby Jimenez is a local Minnesotan which I didn’t know until I purchased this book. Abby also owns Nadia’s Cakes, a local bakery that has a few locations throughout the Twin Cities metro. It’s cool to see someone local getting so much success both as a writer and a local business owner. I have also been seeing Part of Your World popping up on social media, so I hope that this book is worth the hype.
If You’ll Have Me by Eunnie
Momo Gardner is an introverted, sweet, and quiet person who always puts others above herself. PG is known as being a flirt and is a little more outspoken than Momo. Momo and PG end up meeting and connecting despite their differences. If You’ll Have Me is a meet-cute with plenty of awkward and cute moments.
I didn’t know this graphic novel existed until I saw it at Barnes & Noble. I think what drew me to this was the art. I paged through a few of the panels and the art is so good. I like the art style a lot which is important to me when I pick out graphic novels to read.
Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon by Shio Usui
Uno Hinako is a young woman starting her professional career. She’s trying to transition into the real world and find her style at her corporate company. She has had trouble with dating in the past, so she feels a little let down at not being able to find someone. Uno meets her coworker, Satou Ashai, who also works at their company. Uno and Satou start a friendship that begins to become far more intimate.
Barnes & Noble has vastly improved their graphic novel and manga selection. I found this in the same section as If You’ll Have Me. I think what gravitated me toward Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon is the title. Do Uno and Satou go on a date at a doughnut shop because that would be lovely.
For those that might be wondering, where is the library book on this list? I had several opportunities these past few weeks to buy books at local bookstores, so I actually don’t have a library book in my current TBR. However, I thought about potentially renting romance-themed graphic novels or manga since I don’t think it will take me a full month to read through If You’ll Have Me and Doughnuts Under a Crescent Moon. I will say, I have already planned out my TBR for March and I will for sure be renting a book from the library next month.
I mentioned this in a previous post, but 2024 will be a significant year. It will be the 10th Anniversary of dating and meeting my husband. It will also be the 10th Anniversary of starting Bizarre Brunette. If all of that wasn’t enough, I will be turning thirty. To help do a final send-off of my 20s, I wanted to share some of the life lessons I learned throughout this time of my life.
CW: Excessive drinking, body dysmorphia, and body insecurities.
It takes Two to Maintain a Friendship
I am incredibly fortunate when it comes to my friends. I have friends that I grew up with, friends I made in college, and friends I met through my hobbies along with attending conventions. While I have a great group of friends now, there was a time in my life when I struggled to make new friends.
In my freshman year of college, I met so many different people in a short amount of time. Most of the people that I initially met, they never developed into a lasting friendship. There were moments throughout my freshman and sophomore years when I felt lonely. I didn’t have anyone that I could text randomly to go do things with. In freshman year, there was one person who I instantly clicked with. She was geeky like me and we had similar interests. I was so excited to meet someone who I could talk comics with. I had noticed that I was the one putting in the effort to make plans. I decided to take a step back and stop being the one to engage first. Weeks went by and I didn’t hear from her. With that being said, we stopped being friends. Eventually, I did make a few close friends, so everything ended up working out in the end.
When I graduated from college, I naively assumed that all of my college friends would be my friends forever even though we weren’t in the same place or living together. I couldn’t have been more wrong. There was one friend that I tried to make time to see, but again, I always had to be the one to reach out. I haven’t talked to her since before the pandemic which feels like a lifetime ago. The final thing that formally ended our friendship was when she didn’t congratulate me on my engagement to my husband even though she was there when our relationship began. That’s how I knew our friendship was over.
I used to carry a lot of resentment when friendships ended and that isn’t mentally healthy for me. Instead, I am grateful for those friends at that time in my life. While those friendships won’t carry over into my thirties, I wish them well.
Sober Curious; Re-Evaluating My Drinking Habits
I always considered myself a responsible drinker. In college, I went to parties, but I never missed any classes due to being hungover. I had my moments as many college kids did, but I didn’t feel like it negatively impacted my life. After graduating from college, me and my friends would go out. We would go to bars or to various breweries and stay out late. I still didn’t feel like my drinking was out of control as I attributed it to being a social drinker.
When the pandemic hit, that’s when I started to first realize that maybe the way that I was drinking wasn’t good for me. Every Friday night during quarantine, I’d drink at home. Of course, it was never one drink. It ended up being 3 or 4 hard seltzers. I’d usually drink them while playing video games as I thought that served as a good distraction for this stressful time. On Saturday, I woke up with a slight headache. Once I had coffee and drank water, I was fine. After a few weeks of this, I forced myself to stop drinking on Friday and I thought that was the end of it.
When I reflect on both 2020 and 2021, I would have blips where I would drink too much. I wouldn’t be sick, but I would feel off the entire day. There was another moment in 2020 when I drank around coworkers. I ended up mixing an IPA with red wine which was clearly a mistake. The fact that this happened around coworkers at the time makes the story more embarrassing considering these were people that were on my team. Every time I think back to that moment, I visibly cringe. With these blips occurring, I still didn’t think that alcohol was a problem.
I had a wake-up call and that was The Winter Beer Dabbler in February 2022. It was extremely cold out, so I figured I’d just drink a lot and then I wouldn’t be cold anymore. Unsurprisingly, I ended up drinking quite a bit. Apparently, I fell in front of a DJ booth. To be fair, I slipped on ice, but alcohol made it worse. Once we got home, I disclosed a lot of personal insecurities to my husband while intoxicated. When I woke up the next morning, I didn’t remember telling my husband any of those things. It was like alcohol brought out all of these thoughts that I was trying so hard to bury. While this was not a great moment, it actually led to a great conversation between me and my husband that I think helped strengthen our marriage, it sucks that alcohol was involved in that.
After The Winter Beer Dabbler, I was sober for a full month. I understand that a month isn’t a long time, but for someone who was a regular social drinker, that felt like a substantial amount of time. In that month, I journaled and started being honest with myself about how I drank. It became clear to me that I had an unhealthy relationship with drinking. For example, I’d eat less if I knew I was going out. I justified it in my head as I’d be drinking my calories. As I talk about this now, that thought feels like the beginning of an eating disorder because I’m calculating out how to eat less to drink more. Additionally, I relied on alcohol to be a social crux. I wanted people to think that I was outgoing and fun to hang out with. Alcohol gave me that confidence instead of trying to find it myself.
Since The Winter Beer Dabbler, I have decreased the amount that I drink. I have eliminated alcohol from my weekly routine and I never drink at home. I find it easy to go weekends in a row without drinking. I’m much more satisfied with one drink at a time versus having 3 to 4 beers in one sitting. I am in a much better place with alcohol and I have a lot of good motivation to be sober more often than not.
I wanted to end with what motivates me to be sober. The first thing that has helped me is having a regular exercise routine. Every Saturday, I go to an 8:00 AM cycle class. The thought of drinking heavily on Friday to miss my cycle class on Saturday sounds unappealing. I find working out on the weekends especially has been beneficial. The second thing that has helped me is throwing myself into my hobbies. I have been playing video games more. I looked up the hours to an ice arena nearby as I’d love to get back into figure skating regularly. If that wasn’t enough, I looked up a few archery ranges as I’d love to learn how to shoot a bow. I am looking forward to the years ahead and I’m glad that I’m leaving some of these drinking habits in my twenties.
Traveling is a Privilege
When I was little, I used to write stories called “Amy’s Adventures.” I’d write about a young girl named Amy and how she would travel around the US. My dad used to pick up these U.S. state puzzle books where you could learn about a different US state and then the puzzles would reveal various facts about each state. I knew from a young age that I wanted to travel.
If there is anything that I have learned about traveling is that it’s a privilege to do so. To start off, it’s being able to financially afford to travel. When I started my first job out of college, there was no way that I could afford to travel overseas. The cost of airfare was intimidating and that’s not including lodging, souvenirs, food, drink, etc. I can easily say that this is the first time in my life that I have had the financial freedom to be able to plan more extensive vacations.
Besides the cost of travel, it’s having the opportunity to do so. I work full-time in an office which means I have PTO to use. I don’t travel for work, so all the travel that I do comes from my own personal vacations. When I was in college, there were study abroad programs, but none of them aligned with my degree. It would have been a trip, but it would have been disadvantageous if it would have delayed me graduating on time. I know of a few friends who after graduating from college, they traveled the world before getting a full-time job. That sounds lovely, but that’s not something I had the luxury of doing as I needed a job right out of college.
Traveling to Europe was a dream come true. I have always had London on the top of all of my travel lists. Seeing Iceland and Ireland was an added bonus. Traveling to Europe taught me a lot, especially how I liked to travel. We were gone two full weeks and it started to feel like a long time. It made me miss my day-to-day routine including working out and seeing Athena! I don’t know if I would enjoy being gone for a month or longer. Another thing that I learned from our trip to Europe was how much I put my self-worth into traveling. This is going to be a silly thing to admit, but I thought I would feel different after going to Europe. I accomplished this big dream that I have had and when we got back, I felt no different. I put so much stock into the places that I have been and how I felt ashamed to say that it took me so long to travel overseas. Seeing influencers on Instagram having the time of their lives, I was constantly comparing myself to them. They live an entirely different life than I do, however, it doesn’t make my life insignificant.
It feels cathartic to type out all of this because this is something that I have felt for a long time. In my thirties, I still want to travel, but I want to do it on my terms. I want to travel to places that I want to go to no matter what anyone else thinks. I want to cut the cord of tying my self-worth to my travel. I will always be passionate about travel, but I think I’m more practical than I was in the past. I’m going to set realistic travel goals, practice gratitude, and be fortunate that I was able to see all the places that I have seen.
Thrifting & Having Less Clothing, But Loving Everything I Wear
I love expressing myself in the way that I dress. I like dressing up a basic outfit with earrings or wearing a dress I feel confident in. I find joy in taking one of my geeky t-shirts whether it be Star Wars or Marvel and being able to style it in multiple ways. I think it’s fun to show off my personality in the things that I wear and it always tends to start conversations with people I didn’t know before.
In my early twenties, I used to revel in the fact that I owned a lot of clothing. I thought that the more clothing I owned, the more options I had. I liked the variety of wearing something different all the time. I used to spend so much money on new clothes, especially at Loft which used to be one of my all-time favorite stores. However, most of my clothing from Loft, I ended up donating a few years later. The quality at Loft is terrible now. I have had blouses that I bought that have shrunk, so now they are practically crop tops. There are pants that I bought where the button came loose. I have a dress that I can’t iron even though it’s wrinkly because it would fall apart if I did. It’s a shame that I used to spend so much on low-quality clothing.
During the pandemic, I ordered a lot of clothing online since I wasn’t able to go shopping in person. I found that I ordered clothing online and if it didn’t fit me or I didn’t like it, I wouldn’t return it because it would be an extra errand I have to make. It’s a shame because there are so many online boutiques I’d love to purchase from, but I know for a fact that online shopping doesn’t work for me. I need to be able to try something on and see how it fits.
Moving forward, I primarily do most of my shopping at Marshall’s. I usually spend 2-3 hours browsing the racks and trying things on. Most of the clothing that I have purchased at Marshall’s will last me for several years. I want to get back into thrifting. I used to go to Goodwill, but I found that most Goodwill locations nearby me removed their fitting rooms. Finally, I want to find new ways to wear some of my favorite pieces in my closet.
Using my Library Card!
I’m going to keep this short and simple; libraries are the best. There aren’t that many public places that you can go to without needing to spend money. Libraries give back to their communities and for many, libraries can be a safe space. One of my aunts is a retired librarian, so I always was reminded about how much libraries do with community building and education.
I’m looking forward to continuing to use my library card. I am someone who likes to have books on hold ahead of time, so I can quickly pick them up and take them with me. One of my favorite book bloggers, Nerdy By Nature, she posted on her Instagram about her library savings. She created an Excel chart of every book that she rented from the library and then looked up that book’s retail cost. She shared what her cost savings were by renting books from the library versus buying them. That is so creative! I decided that I would be doing that this year. I’m curious to see what my overall money savings are from all the books I plan on borrowing this year.
I liked being able to put this post together. I feel like I’m letting go of a lot of negativity and baggage that I carried in my twenties. I am ready to begin my thirties.
I haven’t talked much about the Dungeons & Dragons campaign that I play in on Mondays. It’s not that I haven’t wanted to because there has been so much that has happened since we started. I wanted to take the time to get to know my character and find a balance in roleplaying as her. In the meantime, I asked Bad Wolf Adventure Studios to commission art based on my character. I did this with Levinia from Curse of Strahd, so it’s no surprise that I would do this with my new character. I am so excited to introduce to you; Vesper Henshawe, my Human Sorcerer.
I wanted to give a little bit more of a description of Vesper. Vesper Henshawe is a general. Three of the player characters are underneath her hierarchy. Vesper is a student at the Academy where she has been trained as a battle mage. She has graduated from the Academy and upon graduation, she received a Ring of Spell Storing. She is looking to progress through her professional career as a military strategist. From a personality standpoint, Vesper is a hard person to get to know. She can be abrasive and difficult to work with. Her personality comes from the backstory that I built for her. I’m not going to reveal all of that yet because some of it I have kept secret from the other players, so I want to keep that secrecy now.
Roleplaying as Vesper has been entertaining. When I originally played her, I made her purposefully abrasive. She had an attitude and didn’t share much about herself with others. As the events have unfolded in our campaign, she has started to open up to the other players. One of our original players was killed by a hobgoblin which I think shook Vesper mentally. She is realizing that the more closed off she is, it may not gain her allies in the harsh world that she lives in.
Bad Wolf did such an amazing job with designing Vesper. I am obsessed with this picture as I think it captures Vesper’s personality and also the experiences she’s had throughout the campaign. I hope to write more campaign recap sessions here because there has been so much going on that our party has had to work through.
Reading thrillers in January was a great idea on my part. I feel like this helped to kick start 2024 to be a good reading year for me. Stillhouse Lake was one of the most recent thrillers that I added to my TBR. I thought the concept was fascinating. A woman on the run with her two kids to hide away from her serial killer ex-husband. Stillhouse Lake lived up to the hype and I can’t wait to continue on with the series.
Gwen Proctor, formerly known as Gina Royal, is seeking refuge with her two kids. Gwen finds out from a car accident that her husband, Melvin Royal, was a serial killer. Gwen was tried for being an accomplice to Melvin’s crimes but was acquitted. To give her two kids, Lanny and Connor, a normal life, Gwen is constantly moving with them, so no one can put together their identities. While living out of a lakehouse in Tennessee, a young woman’s body is pulled out of a lake. The crime is eerily similar to Melvin’s crimes. The pressure is put on Gwen to prove her innocence along with finding out who is killing these women.
I loved Gwen. She’s fierce and a fighter. Everything she does is for her kids even though it’s clear that her kids have been through a lot. In reading the book, l felt Gwen’s trauma in the way that she lives her life. She has multiple alarms and security cameras, she owns multiple firearms, and she has help in the form of an ally who creates her fake identities. I kept comparing Gwen to Laurie Strode from Halloween. Both are survivors in their own right; although their trauma has molded them into being aware of their surroundings.
While Stillhouse Lake is a murder mystery, it’s also a book about the residents of a small town. All the characters were interesting to read about. There’s Javier who owns the gun range and might be dating Kez, a police officer in the town. There’s Sam, a man who moved next to Gwen, who has an aura of mystery to him. These characters come into Gwen’s life at different moments and help to shape the direction of the story.
Stillhouse Lake thrives on being as descriptive as possible. If you’re looking for a thriller that’s a bit more fast-paced and to the point, this might not be for you. In some of the chapters, the narration provides more background into how Gwen interacts with people in the town, how Gwen’s kids start making friends, and how Gwen goes back to visit Melvin in prison. I think adding these scenes helps to enhance the plot of the book. It adds to Gwen’s character background, but also how much her kids have been through. I think it helped me, as the reader, feel more invested in the book.
Stillhouse Lake was a fascinating read. The first book in a series can be tough because it’s developing a story and creating enough intrigue for readers to want to continue on to the second book. I’m looking forward to seeing how the series develops. I rated Stillhouse Lake five stars on Goodreads.
With February underway, I will be posting my February TBR shortly with all the romance books I’ll be reading this month. It will be a nice departure to read about something a bit more light-hearted in the next few weeks.
Bizarre Brunette 